Q: Are you going to be in Blackpool this year?
A: No.
Q: Why not? It’s great! Tons of magic …
A: No, it’s not all that great really. Yes, there is tons of. But not necessarily tons of magic that I like, unfortunately.
Q: Why? 3000 magicians friends there, lots of international stars, lectures, gala shows. There will be something for everybody!
A: I don’t have 3000 friends in magic. I don’t know 99% of these people. They are strangers to me. I don’t know the magic they do. I don’t care for the stars, because they also don’t care for me. They are stars, yes, but I am not. Also, I am not too fond of watching other magicians doing there stuff. They do their shows with tricks that are not of interest to me or any good for me and my work. They do theirs, I do mine – why should I watch? They don’t watch me either. Don’t want my head with its limited capacity to explode from ideas that I’ll never need or wanted to do. And the magicians I’d really like to meet – they are not there! Maybe they also have no friends at magic conventions.
Q: But sure you have at least a few friends in magic and it would be a wonderful opportunity to meet them there!
A: With 2000+ conventioneers, there is hardly any time to talk to someone seriously and with taking some time. I had it once that I met someone the first day and then didn’t see him anymore during the whole convention. Vanished into thin air! Ended up standing outside smoking and talking useless bullshit about the weather to people that I didn’t know. And that was really great, going up all the way to UK to a magic convention and standing outside talking about the UK weather (which then was fine, by the way). Even my very few friends are so busy at that convention that they don’t have the time to talk to anybody.
Q: Come on … everybody is going there. It’s a must! It is the convention of them all! It is the biggest and best magic convention in the world! It is an event not to be missed!
A: Because everybody is going there, I don’t need to, I am not missed by anybody, because because I am sort of nobody. I don’t want to meet and rub shoulders with everybody. Nobody cares for anybody except him- or herself. And I have no problem in missing an event. I missed so much in my life, that one more event to be missed doesn’t really count. And bigger doesn’t mean necessarily better.
Q: Think about the great magic you are going to see and learn! You would miss a great opportunity!
A: I don’t want to see and learn all of the “magic” there. Most of it doesn’t suit my style or my projects anyway. I have more than enough to do with my own magic … thinking about that … working on that … perfecting that. I know what I want to do and know what I have to do to acchieve that. New tricks are of no help for that. Don’t need more ‘new’ tricks and routines. Fed up with that. Haven’t even read all the really important things from the old books. No more storage room for more useless stuff. New tricks and gimmicks are well disguised time thefts. Attic space thefts. Money thefts. Energy thefts. And liars.
Q: But the dealer’s fair is the best in the world! Over a hundred dealers exhibiting the newest and coolest stuff! Rare gimmicks, tricks, novelties …
A: They are selling tricks, as magic dealers are supposed to. They do their job well, otherwise they wouldn’t sell. But they are not selling magic, wisdom or experience. They are selling tricks, gimmicks and dreams. I am not interested in buying more tricks, that don’t even fit into my routines. Tired of new tricks. Tired of the hype. I am interested in working on good magic and creating stuff that works in the real world for real people. I would buy some really quality props, but then in these times they seem to be hard to find. No use nor interest for me to impress other magicians or (often) fans of magic with the newest gadget I bought. No interest for me to ruin other people’s selfies with my stupid face showing my newest tricks or being caught helpless in the middle of the dealer’s fair not knowing what tricks to buy. And remember – new tricks and routines are well disguised time thefts!
Q: You could sell some of your stuff there! Make big profits! It’s a really great chance for your products to get known to new customers!
A: No, I can’t. I have no dealer’s booth. And not enough ‘hip’ stuff to sell …
Q: But then … just run around and do some promotion for your stuff! Get out your business cards, talk to the people and the like …
A: If I do, I would be banned for my lifetime from this convention! I couldn’t live with that.
Q: But then think about the great time you will have in the pubs, the sessions in the Ruskin’s and all the others of them, the socialising with other magicians!
A: Yeah … the pubs used to be great, when smoking was allowed back then. Now I always have to stand outside, freeze and talk to idiots like me that also still smoke. And the sessions somehow mutated into mostly card moves I never will be able to do. Looks like an serious illness, people running around with a deck of cards all the time and nervously fiddling around with it. But most of the moves are not involved into complete routines. They are just naked moves. Pretty boring. Youtube live. And I get nervous very quickly when I have to watch so many moves and am supposed to find them terrific, at the same time thinking how and when I can politely sneak out for my next cigarette …
Q: Well, com’ooon … don’t be a stupid guy! You will come to Blackpool!
A: I am stupid guy, maybe that’s the reason I am not booked for doing anything there at this convention. And when I am not booked, I usually don’t go to magic conventions …